In The Perspective Of A Mad Man

So, one might wonder, what is this blog about? You see, I have not come around to telling you yet. But, I’d like to think my earlier posts were clear as day. You see, I live in Nigeria; Born, raised and all. This supposed third world country has a different approach to the word, mental wellness. I am but one of the many victims of a one track society. I'm luckier than most. I am semi mad.... in the Nigerian perspective. So, this is the perspective of a girl, yet to reach maximum madness. Yes. If mad people could speak.

Forgive my constant use of the word mad. You must understand something. In my country, that is all there is. One can not be diagnosed with a psychological disorder or need help. As long as you can still communicate with the society, mental disorders does not exit. There is no bipolar in Nigeria, or personality disorder or even anxiety and depression. You can only be considered mentally unwell, if you start speaking in unknown languages or run on the street naked. You see, that's what I’m facing. I am not yet at that stage. So I must be fine. But worry not, its but a mater of time.

In my mind, they have never heard a story by a “mad man” so, they do not see the need, or even realize what their actions mean. I declare, that Nigeria probably is the place with the most mental patients in the world. They just have not started running the streets naked yet. I know, harsh, but hear me out.

I am a writer, an author. That's all I’ve ever known. Apart from writing great fiction, I’ve never tried to delve into reality. I started this blog reviewing my best novels. One day I wondered. Is it because no one is telling their stories? Is that why mental disorders are ignored in the country? Of course, I don't believe the woman selling water leaf in the market across the street is reading this. But, I know someone is and sometimes, all it takes is one person.

I got diagnosed with anxiety and depression a few years back. Unlike most that would not have the opportunity for a mental evaluation, I did. I've always had the best education in the country, so, it was not odd to encounter such people working around me in those institutions. But like most, I refused the thought of being mentally....... anything. Although I knew this a while back, I refused to pay it attention. If nothing, my educational background gives my logic enough ego to make theories about what my state of mind could be. So, I’d already known. I just felt I can deal with it. I had no intention of getting attention for it.

Does it matter? My mother already knew of the diagnoses that have been progressing over the years. Yes. Every time a new fancy psychological term is added to my list of mental disorders, she sighs. News flash. Never been to therapy. So I guess, I made the right decision.

Dropping out of school was a big blow for her. They had spent almost everything so my siblings and I, had great education. But to them, I left it all behind. She understands, I may die if I go back. But she would rather have me in school.

Don't get me wrong, it does not mean that my mother loves me less, she is just displaying the mind set of the entire country. Your mental health is just unimportant. Welcome to Nigeria. The entire populace of the country underestimate mental health issues. In fact the scorn it. It is as non existent as air. But like air, it is very crucial. As a child, I too would have joined them.

To day, I’m the mad one. But this mad one can talk.