I See In Colors

writing for dummies

That's the sentence that came to my mind when I first walked into my secondary school library. You see, I've always hated school for as long as I could remember. It was always full of people telling me what is real and what can and can not be done. "I want to do what I want" was always my mental stand. I admit my drive to do as I please could be related to my upbringing, but that is a story for a different day.

I remember it was raining out side and the librarian was sitting by the corner giving me suspicious looks. I didn't blame her. looking at how empty the library was, it was safe to say this was not the happening corner. I took a look at the books on the shelves. history, mathematics.....then I saw it. An entire shelf filled with novels. These were not the books I would usually see. I did not know such a thing existed in this area. They were new and untouched. I remember feeling my heart race as I thought; it's all mine.

Those years were the most active of my life. I had just started to experiment writing different genres. I wanted to tell stories for as long as I could remember. But half way into them, I got bored because the end was clear as day. Reading in the library became my next best thing safe watching the rain.

The library. The first place I read actual fantasy. My brain burst into different lights and my vision seemed as though blurred by stars. I wanted more. I took to my pen as usual and discovered fantasy. It became my next love. If only I had known how much pain it would bring me.

This is usually the happily ever after part, but no. My happiness is yet to come, even as I type down these words.

I don't deny being unusually intelligent. I never have. I would pass my exams without reading, I would always be among the first five in the class. Yet, I frowned at the thought of an education. I wanted to tell stories. Probably I should have failed more. I couldn't help it. I would make my grades regardless of how I scorned the teachers and escaped into my fantasies.

I remember  Mr. Austin. He was my favorite teacher. He taught literature and English. Soon I enjoyed his classes enough to think I could study that. Education needed not be about the numbers my teachers seem to teach all day long. They could also include my things, like reading and analyzing great works. I took to the education of the art of words like fish to water. I loved every moment of it and dreaded when it ended. I could see myself doing this for the rest of my life.

Though I passed my courses and made good grades, my outraged teachers frowned at my indifference towards their practice.

"everything in the world can be calculated. With the right amount of knowledge one could calculate the future" Mr. Moses told me.

"you see in numbers, I see in colors" I insisted.

Those words became the structure for who I am today. A person standing on her last strand.