Smiling Mind Doth Hold Them Back

Art by therealbanksy

It's weird how I hesitate over the keyboard when I find myself full of words. What stops me, I have no idea. It's a sunny day over here and the heat is killing me. I had just finished hand sewing a dress that had been on my mind for a while. I think I'll sew more often. The calm was soothing.

There are some women I grew up around, lets call them Aunty I and Aunty U. Growing up, I had a bad temper, yet I wondered how I was able to keep it in, when they were around. You see, they had always believed themselves to be the most fashionable, intelligent and successful amongst their peers and with this thought form, they looked at people from above. At least they tried to.

I remember it was a calm Sunday morning and I had gone with my parents to what used to be known as the temple. Like always, after the service, I greeted them and like always, they scrutinized every stitch on my dress. I was but 10 at the time and full of energy, waiting to burst open and burn them all. If they acted like mothers and pulled me aside to whisper what ever grievance they may have had with my dress, I would have probably seen them in a different light. But they did not.

On the contrary, they raised their voice as they mocked...I mean scrutinized my outfit, making sure to gain as much attention as they could. I mean I was no older than 3, then 4 then 5 till date.... I still don't see how older women get away with bullying a child.

This was a usual Sunday for me, yet I could not help but reveal a frown. After escaping, before my volcano burst open, I sat in a corner. I found my self watching people around me. That's when I saw it.

You see, Aunty U and aunty I were sisters and blood was thicker than water. In fact, the tigress's blood was fiercer than the cubs. God bless her soul, the tigress laid eyes upon a girl that I can not forget till this day and pounced with a ferocity beyond what the cubs could have ever mustered.

I pitied the girl almost immediately. The tigress had no intention of let go this delicious food, as she intended to chew even bone.

That is when I saw it. The girl smiled. I'd like to say, that till this day, I have yet so see a smile more beautiful. It was so dazzling, I could swear the sun burst from her face. I was not the only one who could see that smile. The tigress got so enchanted, she lessened her bites, till she could not bear to even lick the scars.

I had learnt that day. It was something I could not forget even if I tried. Going home, I sat before a mirror, and I smiled till it hurt. I smiled till that face I saw in the mirror before me, was imprinted in my brain. Till to day, I see that face almost to the point where it irritates me. Whether they scorned, laughed, mocked, cried, slapped, my smiling face mechanism would be activated and it would block all.

It had blocked the enemies so long, it began to block me too. Funny. I guess a shield does work both ways. Keeps the flies out, but keeps you in as well. These days, I myself, can not tell when the shield smiles or when I do. Or do I ever?